A few years ago, a therapist friend asked me: “What does a better life look like to you?” I paused. My answer, delivered with a quiet conviction that surprised even myself, was this: “My biggest regret—I was not prioritizing myself. I want to prioritize me, more."

For years, I'd worn my dedication like a badge of honor. I was taught to nurture careers, to foster growth, to be the unwavering support for the organization and the people.

And I excelled at it. I prided myself on being the leader who always had an open door, the one who’d go the extra mile, the one who’d put her team's success above her own well-being. But there was a dark side to this unwavering dedication, a shadow that grew longer with each skipped lunch and late-night email.

I was prioritizing the well-being of others over my own, slowly but surely depleting my reserves. Then, the world shifted. COVID hit, and the lines between work and life blurred even more. I was on the path of silent burnout, a path so many of us walked without even realizing it. We were the resilient ones, the ones who could "handle it," until we couldn't.

A couple of years later, my body delivered an undeniable message: I was not living a life that honored my needs. It started subtly, then escalated – I got sick, a dozen medical appointments, then faced surgery, and finally, a layoff. For many, a layoff is a blow, a setback. For me, it was a 'rebirth.' It was a forced pause, a sacred space to finally prioritize myself, reclaim my self-confidence, and nurture better health and well-being. It was time to focus on self-care, not as an afterthought, but as a priority.

Self-care is the way back to purpose, meaning, and joy.

Let's be direct: Self-care isn't about superficial indulgences like a new lipstick or a shopping spree. While those can be lovely, they often miss the deeper truth. Self-care is the way back to purpose, meaning, and joy. It's the intentional act of tending to our inner garden so that everything else can flourish.

Self-care is allowing yourself to provide structures around your energies and boundaries.

This means recognizing your capacity and fiercely protecting it. It’s saying "no" to that last-minute meeting that encroaches on family time, or blocking out "focus time" on your calendar and treating it with the same reverence as a client call. It’s understanding that your energy isn't limitless and that preserving it benefits everyone around you, not just yourself.

Self-care is allowing yourself to eliminate unhealthy relationships.

This isn't just about romantic partners; it extends to friendships that drain you, family dynamics that diminish you, and even professional relationships that constantly leave you feeling undervalued or exhausted. It's the brave act of creating space for what truly nourishes your soul.

Self-care is allowing yourself to cultivate meaningful relationships that lift you up.

Seek out your tribe – the friends, mentors, and colleagues who truly see you, celebrate your wins, and offer a hand when you stumble. These are the connections that fuel your spirit and remind you of your inherent worth.

Self-care is allowing yourself to reshape your roles, responsibilities, and identities.

Women often carry the weight of being everything to everyone – the perfect leader, the devoted partner, the present parent, the supportive friend. Self-care is giving yourself permission to shed the roles that no longer serve you, to redefine success on your own terms, and to embrace the evolving person you are becoming.

Self-care is allowing yourself to take breaks and time off.

This isn't just about the annual vacation (though those are crucial!). It’s about the micro-breaks during your workday, the weekend unplug, the mental health day when you need it most. It’s understanding that rest is not a reward for productivity, but a prerequisite for it.

Self-care is allowing yourself to not cancel doctor's appointments because you have an "important" meeting to attend.

How many times have we done this? Prioritizing a meeting over our physical well-being. Self-care is recognizing that your health is your most valuable asset, and no meeting, no deadline, is more important than your body's signals.

Self-care is allowing yourself the possibility of taking an extended career break, and not feeling guilty about that.

Whether it's for family, personal growth, or simply to recharge, the idea of stepping off the career ladder can feel terrifying. But self-care is dismantling the guilt, understanding that a pause can lead to a more powerful, purposeful next chapter.

Self-care is allowing yourself to save, invest, and reinvest your money, time, and energy on things and people that matter.

It's about conscious allocation of your most precious resources. It’s saying yes to the course that sparks your curiosity, the experience that fills your cup, and the relationships that truly enrich your life.

Self-care is bravery and honesty.

It requires you to be brutally honest with yourself about what isn't working, what's draining you, and what truly brings you joy. It's about having the courage to reprioritize your life, not based on external expectations, but on what genuinely works for you.

Self-care is honoring yourself, and recognizing yourself as worthy of love and being taken care of.

You are not just a resource to be depleted. You are a vibrant, complex human being deserving of compassion, rest, and joy.

Final thoughts.

So, as you reflect on your own journey, ask yourself:

• How would you like to reprioritize your life to make it work for you – to invite in more joy, happiness, peace, and love?
• How would you like to truly honor your needs, not just acknowledge them?
• What steps can you take to communicate your needs and boundaries more clearly with others, both personally and professionally?
• Where can you start saying "no" when you ought to say "yes," and vice versa?
• What are the specific obstacles that stand in your way of prioritizing self-care?
• What would you like to do, starting today, to overcome those obstacles and step into a life that truly nourishes you?

You matter.

Your health and well-being matter.

Your time and energy matter.

Today, make the courageous choice to prioritize yourself.

To your success and happiness.

Live fully. Live well.

Corinna

© 2025 Corinna Kong. All Rights Reserved.

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