A few years ago, a friend asked me, “What does a good life look like to you?”

I paused. Then I said, “I wish I had prioritized myself. I want to choose me—more.”

At the time, I was so focused on my work that I had unintentionally neglected what makes life whole—relationships, health, joy, and well-being.

I had been taught to invest in career growth, to be reliable, selfless, and endlessly available, for the team, the mission, the goals. And I excelled at it. But there was a shadow side to that dedication. A cost. One that crept in quietly with every skipped lunch, every late-night email, every weekend sacrificed in the name of “just catching up.”

I was prioritizing everyone else over my own well-being, slowly draining my reserves. Then came COVID. The boundaries between work and life dissolved even further. I kept pushing forward—until my body pushed back.

We were the resilient ones, the ones who could "handle it," until we couldn't.

Silent burnout doesn’t scream. It whispers. Then it breaks you open.

A couple years later, I hit a wall. Illness. Dozens of doctor appointments. Surgery. And finally, a layoff.

For many, a layoff is a setback.

For me, it was a rebirth.

It was a sacred pause that gave me the permission I hadn’t known I needed—to reclaim my self-trust, to nurture my health, and to rebuild a life where I belonged at the center.

Self-care was no longer a reward for surviving.

It became the foundation for thriving.

Many committed, hard-working and career-driven women feel this way.

If you’ve been feeling that low hum of imbalance… if the success you've worked so hard for feels oddly hollow…

You’re not alone.

Here are 10 hard-earned truths about self-care I learned the painful way, from burnout to rebuilding. I share them with you as gentle affirmations, rooted in lived experience, not perfection.

#1 Self-care is allowing yourself to provide structures around your energies and boundaries.

That means knowing your capacity and protecting it. Blocking focus time. Declining the meeting that eats into family dinner. Understanding that your energy is not infinite, and that preserving it isn’t selfish, it’s wise.

#2 Self-care is allowing yourself to eliminate unhealthy relationships.

This isn’t just about partners. It’s about friendships that leave you depleted, family dynamics that shrink you, and work relationships that consistently undervalue you. Letting go makes space for what nourishes you.

#3 Self-care is allowing yourself to cultivate meaningful relationships that lift you up.

You deserve people who see you, celebrate you, and hold you when you falter. Surround yourself with the friends, mentors, and colleagues who remind you of your worth, especially when you forget.

#4 Self-care is allowing yourself to reshape your roles, responsibilities, and identities.

So many of us try to be everything to everyone. But self-care is stepping out of outdated roles and choosing new definitions of success, ones that honor who you're becoming, not just who you've been.

#5 Self-care is allowing yourself to take breaks and time off.

Not just the annual vacation (although yes, take that too). It’s micro-breaks during the day. Mental health days. Unplugged weekends. Rest is not earned through productivity. It’s what makes productivity possible.

#6 Self-care is allowing yourself to not cancel doctor's appointments because you have an "important" meeting to attend.

How many times have we done this? Your health isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s your most vital asset. Your body is speaking. Are you listening?

#7 Self-care is allowing yourself the possibility of taking an extended career break, and not feeling guilty about that.

Taking a step back can feel terrifying. But sometimes, the pause is what makes the next chapter more powerful. You are not your job title. You are a whole human being.

#8 Self-care is allowing yourself to save, invest, and reinvest your money, time, and energy on things and people that matter.

Say yes to the course that lights you up. The friend who fills your cup. The quiet moment that restores you. These are not luxuries. They are strategic choices in a life that works for you.

#9 Self-care is bravery and honesty.

It means facing what’s not working. Saying the hard thing. Being real with yourself and others. The truth may feel inconvenient, but it’s the path to your freedom.

#10 Self-care is honoring yourself, and recognizing yourself as worthy of love and being taken care of.

You are not a machine. You’re not just here to produce, perform, or please.

You are a living, breathing human being.

You deserve care.

You deserve joy.

You deserve to come first in your own life.

A final note.

If you're standing at a crossroads, ask yourself:

• What would it mean to prioritize yourself—truly?
• Where in your life do your needs feel dismissed or delayed?
• What would you say no to, if you believed you were allowed to say yes to your own well-being?
• What would change if you believed your health, your happiness, and your wholeness mattered?

Because they do.

You do.

Your time matters.

Your energy matters.

Your joy matters.

Today, let it begin.

Make the courageous choice to choose you.

With care,
​Corinna

© 2025 Corinna Kong. All Rights Reserved.

P.S. If this resonated, consider sharing it with a friend who may need these words, too. Healing is better when we don’t do it alone.