The shadow side of overachievement: Five insights


Do you push relentlessly, achieving significant milestones, yet struggle to truly acknowledge your successes?

Are your days overwhelmingly dedicated to work, often sacrificing personal time and self-care?

Does work-life balance feel like impossible?

Does the idea of taking a vacation, a day off, or even a short break stir feelings of guilt?

If these questions resonate deeply, it's likely you are navigating the world as an overachiever.

Research shows that overachievers often share these traits:

  • Tying self-worth directly to achievements
  • Battling an insatiable perfectionism
  • Experiencing imposter syndrome despite clear competence
  • Pushing themselves to exhaustion to "earn" success, and
  • Frequently experiencing chronic stress and burnout

My understanding of the overachiever's experience comes from years of working alongside driven professionals who recognized this tendency in themselves, as well as observing it in the lives of close friends. And, importantly, I've navigated this terrain personally, learning to manage my own overachieving drive to protect my well-being.

This has given me a clear lens through which to see how this pattern manifests.

The shadow side of overachievement.

Beyond the internal pressures, overachieving casts a significant shadow on our overall well-being, impacting both our physical and mental health, and even straining our relationships (as highlighted in D. Denham Smith's work in the Harvard Business Review).

This relentless drive often correlates with lower life and job satisfaction, and the blurred work-life boundaries so common among overachievers are a pathway to burnout.

So, what keeps us tethered to this exhausting treadmill?

Our society frequently elevates the pursuit of success and achievement, often subtly—and sometimes overtly—implying that constant advancement is the key to a valued and admired life.

This messaging can become so deeply ingrained that we unconsciously begin to equate our accomplishments with our inherent worth.

I know this intimately; for years, I was caught in the relentless spin of that very treadmill.

It wasn't until I found myself sinking into the quicksand of habitual burnout, my body and mind protesting with physical sickness, anxiety, and depression, that I was forced to confront a critical truth.

It became clear that a profound re-evaluation of my personal life and beliefs was essential to build a life I truly loved, one that nourished rather than depleted me.

If, like I once was, you find yourself constantly chasing the next achievement, barely acknowledging the victories you've already secured, and tying your worth to your professional output, then it's time for a shift.

It's time to rediscover the inherent value within you, a value that exists far beyond your professional accomplishments.

It's time to fully embrace your worth.

Let's talk about self-worth.

When did we begin to erode our belief in our inherent value?

Perhaps it was the critical words from authority figures – parents, teachers, or early career managers.

These words, often internalized, can fuel a desperate need to prove our worth, to become someone "worthy" of admiration and respect.

This can lead us down a path of relentless striving, pushing ourselves to exhaustion in a bid for external validation.

But looking back, we can see that this isn't the only path.

Improving our relationship with ourselves means recognizing that our worth isn't something to be earned; it's our birthright.

When we nurture our inner selves, we begin to love and accept ourselves unconditionally, freeing ourselves from the constant need for external validation to define our identity and value.

Five ways to stepping off the overachiever treadmill.

In my own process of stepping off the overachiever treadmill and creating a life filled with more joy, I discovered five crucial insights. I share them with the sincere hope that they will illuminate your path as well. Recognizing these patterns within yourself is the vital first step in creating the positive changes you desire.

  1. Embrace your intrinsic value: You are enough: Believe this deeply: your worth stems from who you are, not what you do. Societal standards for achievement do not define your fundamental value. It is inherent and constant, untouched by your latest project or promotion. Recognize that you are worthy of love, respect, and belonging simply because you exist. This isn't about lowering your ambitions; it's about anchoring yourself in the unwavering truth of your inherent worthiness.
  2. Find joy in the now: Instead of constantly chasing the next peak, allow yourself to truly savor the view from where you stand. Focus your energy on the joy of the journey itself, immersing yourself in the present process. Take a moment to reflect on what you're genuinely grateful for right now, celebrate the hard work that has brought you here, and reclaim your happiness by gently releasing your relentless grip on anticipated future successes. Crucially, extend that same grace to your past – let go of self-recrimination for mistakes and missed opportunities. Cultivating a habit of mindfulness will pave the way to greater and more sustainable happiness.
  3. Recognize your wins: Your contributions have meaning. Make time to honestly reflect on the positive impact you've already delivered. Your past successes were valuable to people, organizations, and the work you do. Resist the urge to minimize them in your drive towards the next achievement.
  4. Uncover your inner strengths and value: Awareness is key. Transformation starts with seeing yourself clearly. Reach out to trusted mentors, leaders, and friends who value you holistically – both your accomplishments and your inherent qualities. Pay close attention to and truly savor feedback that illuminates your character strengths and the positive impact of your contributions. Learn to view those nagging feelings of inadequacy not as limitations, but as fertile ground for growth and opportunities to shine your unique light.
  5. Delegate to empower: Celebrate shared success. Recognize that your impact multiplies when you delegate effectively and cultivate teamwork. Generously share credit for successes; when you empower others to contribute and shine, their achievements become a powerful reflection of your leadership, reinforcing your value and building collective confidence.

Believe in yourself.

Believe in the significance of your contributions.

Believe, wholeheartedly, that you are enough.

It's time to move beyond simply achieving and start truly living – fully, joyfully, and with a deep sense of confidence that comes from within.

Living fully. Living well.

Corinna

© 2025 Corinna Kong. All Rights Reserved.

P.S. Your career challenges don't have to wait. Get a complimentary 1:1 career clarity session.

Thrive Together

Want to achieve more without sacrificing your well-being? Join our free newsletter community for simple tools and actionable tips to become the master of your career and well-being.📌As a bonus, get your FREE well-being self-assessment worksheet: 8 dimensions to a happier, healthier you.

Read more from Thrive Together
Corinna's self-portrait

Hi, I'm Corinna Kong, a former global manager in Big Tech. Now I'm dedicated to empowering purpose-driven women to thrive together. I guide professional women like you to reclaim their confidence and lead with purpose through mid-career transitions, enabling them to stress less, achieve more, and build a resilient career that supports their evolving aspirations—all while knowing they don't need to sacrifice well-being for success. As an Asian woman in corporate tech, I've experienced many...

white and blue i love you print textile

This week I received shocking news. A friend—a fellow professional woman—is diagnosed with stage 4 non-smoker lung cancer. It's already in her brain, and she just had brain surgery. The even more painful truth? The pain is now radiating through her shoulders and spine, and there's a terrifying possibility of it spreading further. And the speed of it all? Just a month. The weight of that news settled in, a sobering reflection on life and death, health and well-being. Beneath all the...

Scrabble tiles spelling out the word success on a wooden table

Have you experienced that nagging feeling of "not good enough" creeping in as you navigate your career growth? The pressure to advance, the endless scroll of seemingly perfect careers and lives on social media? You compare yourself with other people's careers and lives, you feel you're falling short in the social comparison game. If this resonates, you're in the right place. We, as driven professionals, often find ourselves measured against unspoken societal standards. It's a natural human...