Have you experienced that nagging feeling of "not good enough" creeping in as you navigate your career growth?

The pressure to advance, the endless scroll of seemingly perfect careers and lives on social media?

You compare yourself with other people's careers and lives, you feel you're falling short in the social comparison game.

If this resonates, you're in the right place.

We, as driven professionals, often find ourselves measured against unspoken societal standards.

It's a natural human tendency to feel the weight of these expectations.

I was reminded of this recently while reading a thought-provoking piece in Forbes, “Why work-life balance is a myth—and how to define well-being over time.” It sparked a powerful recollection of my own journey.

I held myself against the societal standard of success.

The pressure to advance and social comparison led to an unnecessary undercurrent of feeling that I wasn't quite "doing my career right."

Looking back, I was trying to deliver a version of success that others had prescribed, a performance of what I thought was expected.

The result?

I felt pressured, deeply unhappy, and yearned to simply disappear into the background.

It led me to a fundamental question:

Ditching the picture-perfect ideal.

Social media paints a glossy picture of professional wins and flawless family moments.

Constant exposure to seemingly flawless lives fuels the internal comparison game, leaving women feeling like we are the only ones struggling to juggle the demands of work and life. The curated perfection online creates a distorted reality.

But perhaps the most damaging aspect of reaching a picture-perfect life is its tendency to conflate a woman's worth with her professional achievements.

In a society that often equates success with career advancement and financial gain, women have internalized the pressure to constantly climb the ladder to validate our existence and worth.

The question then becomes: at what cost does this relentless striving come?

What happens when we hold true to our intrinsic values, instead of external achievements?

Here are a few of my perspectives:

We don't need to be kidnapped by the idea of "having it all".

Instead of chasing this elusive and often externally defined ideal of "having it all", we can embrace our unique journeys. Life is not a comparison game but a dynamic process of growing, navigating trade-offs, and uncovering aspirations.

Recognizing that it's okay – and even necessary – to make choices and focus on what matters most to us at different stages of life is crucial for reclaiming our time and energy.

We can honor our needs without unnecessary guilt.

Releasing ourselves from the prescriptive nature of career success allows us to define our own version of a rich and meaningful existence, one that aligns with our personal values and aspirations, rather than external expectations.

Our identity is not defined by our careers.

The societal emphasis on career success has led women to tie our sense of self-worth inextricably to our professional achievements. While a fulfilling career can undoubtedly be a source of pride and satisfaction, it does not need to be the determinant of our identity.

Our identities are multifaceted. When we over-identify with our professional lives, we risk neglecting other crucial aspects that provide creativity, joy, and a sense of belonging.

Moreover, the inherent instability of the professional world – job losses, industry shifts, and the ever-present pressure to perform – can leave our sense of self vulnerable if it is solely anchored in our careers.

Cultivating a strong sense of identity that extends beyond our professional roles provides a resilient foundation, allowing us to navigate life's inevitable ups and downs with greater emotional fortitude.

Embracing the diverse facets of our being empowers us to define ourselves on our own terms, independent of external validation from our careers.

We can define success on our own terms.

The ultimate antidote to the guilt-inducing pressure of "having it all" is the radical act of redefining success for ourselves.

For too long, society has dictated what constitutes a successful life, often prioritizing external markers like wealth, status, and power. It's time for women to reclaim our agency and create personal definitions of success that resonate with our individual values and aspirations.

Success can manifest in countless ways, far beyond the confines of a corner office or a hefty paycheck.

It might be raising kind and compassionate children, nurturing meaningful relationships, making a positive impact in our communities, pursuing creative passions, or simply cultivating a sense of inner peace and well-being in difficult seasons of our lives.

Defining success on our own terms requires self-awareness and the courage to prioritize what truly matters to us. It involves actively challenging societal expectations and resisting the urge to compare our journeys to others.

It's about embracing our unique paths, celebrating our individual achievements, and acknowledging that fulfillment is a deeply personal and evolving experience.

In summary.

The facade of a picture-perfect life rooted in societal pressures and amplified by digital media, often leads to a sense of constant comparison, stress and anxiety.

However, by understanding that our identities extend far beyond our professional achievements, we can liberate ourselves from this burden of guilt and embrace a more authentic and fulfilling life.

This conversation is far from over, and your experiences are invaluable.

• What does "success" look like to you in this current season of your life?
• Have you felt the pressure to "have it all," and what steps are you taking to align your priorities with your own definition of a meaningful existence?

Living fully. Living well.

Corinna

© 2025 Corinna Kong. All Rights Reserved.

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